Have you ever thought about how just beautiful Haru Haru is?
It’s letting go, letting her go even though you so desperately can’t and you chain yourself by ‘you can’t go after her.’ because despite that it makes you uncontrollably sad, that’s what makes her happy. you repeatedly wish her a happy goodbye, you repeatedly wish she would be happy next to that other person, you repeatedly wish that she’d forget your promise to be together always. you’re just hypnotizing yourself, over and over. you think yourself almost selfish that you keep a memory of her, hoarding her memory, but that’s the only way you can even attempt to pry yourself away from your feelings. but you just can’t forget her and your soul is crushed like the waves against the shore and although, to her, you were only a mere smoke in the air that dissipated when she left you, she is like the love itself to you and her smile is tattooed on your heart. it hurts a little less every day, or at least that’s what you’re trying to tell yourself. you force yourself to understand that she couldn’t be happy with you by her side, and you think you’re glad she left you to be happy with someone else, but at the same time your emotions scream no, you’re not glad, you’re not happy this way. you look at the sky and the clouds and and hope she’d smile like the sky and when you realize you’re thinking about her you abruptly stop, feeling guilty for thinking about her again because you don’t deserve her, not even the memory. though you can’t forget her and live in the sad miserable shadow of what once was between you, not once do you say, please come back; not once do you say, i’ll make you happy. you spend day and night letting her go, but all that’s causing is making you love her even more, and you try to erase her presence in your heart bit by bit, day by day, and though that might take a life time and you might never find another love and feel that joy and glee and happiness, you still say goodbye. because you love her that much.